Tuesday, May 12, 2015

She is gone

On Saturday, I farewelled my furry companion of 16.5 years.  Her health had been declining since January & I had a feeling that it was time.  I made an appointment with the vet who has looked after her for her whole life on Saturday as I didn't want to do this during the week.  

If it was time, I wanted to take her to my sisters acreage which is a 3 hour drive from Melbourne & lay her to rest next to my niece's first cat Otis.

Dr Murray checked over & advised me that she'd lost half her body weight since he last saw her in January, was dehydrated & clearly unwell.  He said without a doubt that she would continue to exist, should I do nothing, but her quality of life would not be very good.  She could barely walk up our stairs any more (arthritic front legs); was having trouble in the bathroom department, was wonky on her legs preferring to sit than stand in the last week or so & also over the last couple of weeks had become quite confused some days & I had wondered if she'd had a minor stroke as she didn't seem to know me & was quite scared of being touched at times.  

But then she'd be OK & want a pat & to sit with me on the couch; & hang out with me in the bathroom while I had a bath.  And she never forgot when it was time for breakfast or dinner or where her food bowl was.

Murray said that I wouldn't be short changing her & that it would be a kind thing to let her go now.  He said he'd be surprised if she could actually get comfortable sitting or laying, as there wasn't much left to her, than skin & bones.  Maybe I left it a week or 2 longer than I should have & it really upsets me to think I may have prolonged her suffering.

I stayed with her as he injected her & held her little face.  She didn't struggle.  She was the calmest she'd ever been in the cat box on the way to the vet; & while she was there that day.  She was tired.  She was sore.  She was done.  Murray said she was purring as he & the nurse also held her; while the shaved a little fur from her arm to find a vein; & even while he gave her the injection.  I take comfort that she felt safe & comfortable & maybe even happy in that final moment.

I know she was only a cat, but she has been my constant companion for such a long time.  She was the one who saw & wore my silent tears when upset.  She always just knew when I was down & had to sit as close as possible, if not on me.  I cant begin to express the joy & comfort she has given me over the years.  I just hope that she knew & is resting peacefully, where ever pussy cat's go when they die.

We laid her to rest as planned.  When we arrived at my sister's, my brother in law had already dug the plot & had attempted to make a cross for her.  He wasn't happy with it however & finished it off on Sunday & sent me this picture.  I do believe that was one of the nicest damn things anyone has ever done for me.  My sis will plant some daffodils behind her plot & every winter she & Otis will bloom together.  The plot is at the end of their driveway, so even if they do sell up & move away, I can always drive past & visit as I wouldn't be trespassing.

This is her last Tuesday night; I made the appointment the following morning after she smacked her head on the coffee table jumping up onto the couch.

And in better days.

Farewell baby girl.  I love you with all my heart.


Chris H said...

Awwwww. You did the right thing in helping her move on at the right time. I am sure she is in pussy cat heaven and happy. Nice to know you can visit her whenever you want.

AlleyCat said...

Thanks Chris.

Georgia said...

I'm so sorry for your loss - this post has me in tears at my desk. Our fur babies are so much more than "just cats" - they are members of the family with wonderful personalities and quirks. You absolutely did the best and most humane thing for her and I love how beautifully she's been commemorated. Sending you hugs and strength.

AlleyCat said...

Thank you so much Georgia; & I'm sorry I made you cry.

Carol said...

Oh Cat, I have tears reading this, you know what an animal lover I am. I get it, I truly do. When your little mate has been with you through so many years, they are the ones that truly know you. And because of that, they need for you to make the responsible and right decision for them when they are too sick to tell you. And you did my friend. My thoughts are with you. I only hope that I am so brave as you are when the time comes here. XX

AlleyCat said...

Thanks Carol. I'd had a few months to come to terms with this decision. When I took her in end of Jan before we went away, Murray took bloods & talked me through worst to best case scenario then. He knew that I didn't want her to suffer. He gave her a hydration treatment & her bloods came back far better than expected & she really picked up after the treatment. But had declined again over the last month. Thank you so much for your words. It's so hard to end someone's life that you love.