Miss C asked a few questions on my last post & made a couple of comments I wanted to respond too. The first is about motivation.
C said "I still find it amazing that there are people
like you who willingly want to run a marathon (or walk up Everest etc). I have
no motivation to put myself through that and I wish I was more motivated by the
idea of the challenge. I think I might be a bit of a hedonist... LOL!"
If someone had asked me this time last year - so do you think you'll run the marathon next year, I'd have said no way. I'd just run my first half marathon & had awful ITB pain.
If someone had asked me 2 years ago if I could run a marathon, or a half marathon for that matter I'd have laughed & said, not likely, I can barely run 10kms!!!
If someone had asked me 3 years ago if I could run 10kms I might have said, I wish I could, maybe one day.
If someone had asked me 10, or 20 years ago about running, or running even 5kms, I would have rolled my eyes at you & said are you barking mad?? I'm not athletic, I hate sport & I'm uncoordinated & too fat & unfit. Why would I want to run? That's for other people who are not me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I didn't all of a sudden develop the motivation to run nor to run a marathon.
There were baby steps. I wanted to lose some weight to start with. I weighed 54kgs when I finished highschool. In 10 years I put on 22kgs. It took 10 years to get rid of 10kgs. I spent the following 5 years fluctuating between 60 & 65kgs & sizes 10 - 12.
18 months ago I finally dropped below 60kgs & have stabilized in the past 6 months between 56 & 57kgs & sizes 6 - 8.
I actually put on weight in the past 2 months but dropped almost 2% body fat - which answers another of Miss C's questions: "What role has weight loss played in your
training and has it been difficult to keep weight on with all that training???"
Weight loss was my initial goal way back when. The goal to be fit enough walk & enjoy the Black Cat Track in PNG in 2013 really got me motivated to become fitter & stronger & really had nothing to do with weight.
The motivation was that I didn't want to be the weakest person on the trip; I didn't want to hold everyone up; I didn't want to spend each day wishing it was over (if it was as hard as everyone says it is). Fear, I guess was the motivation.
It's been an interesting year for me & I haven't really made it too public, but I've been dealing with a bit of anxiety - enough to seek help. I realize I've been letting fear of failure & fear of feeling negative feelings rule me for some time now (in additional to other things). Sorry, I'm getting off topic a bit here - what was the question??
Weight loss - no, that hasn't really played a role in my training for the past 18 months. I'd by lying if I said I wasn't happy with my new body shape, but I do get a bit cranky if people say I look anorexic as someone did the other day!!! I do jump on the scale every morning, it's more out of interest to see how different foods etc affect my bodies ability to retain fluid etc.
I relation to weight loss - I don't really have a magic formula. It just eventually clicked I suppose. I found a PT who believed in me when I didn't believe in myself; that wasn't always entirely healthy though, I believe I've really only just started to believe in myself in the past month or so. My current PT has been telling me for ages that I've got this & I cant imagine my exercise life without him, but I'm finally doing it for me. No-one else. Just me.
Yup I'm a slow learner and I've spent way to long making decisions based on what I thought other people wanted from me.
I terms of keeping weight on, that's my PT's department. He builds up my muscles & apparently I break them down with the distance running! As I said, I've actually put weight on, but have lost centimetres everywhere except thighs (I have impressive quads!) & reduced body fat. It will be interesting to see what happens now that I'm not running such long distances. I plan to keep up the half marathon distance - running coach said to max at 2 hours every second week so that I shall do & work hard on strengthening some of my weaker/lazy muscles (read butt).
I hope the above makes a bit of sense!! If you have any other questions, holla!!!