Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Hump Day

For those of us who are back at work already - happy hump day!

I should have added one more thing to my list from yesterday - that was to blog more often. It has been pointed out to me that I've usually post on Fridays (have done for a while now). Sometimes I just can't think of anything to bother posting about.......

I'm not sure today's an exception.

I'm feeling a bit flat today actually - crazy dreams last night of running from & running too without know what I was running from or too or why. I had a vigorous osteo treatment last night so wonder if my body was adjusting & restless & I was hot! I kept throwing the doona off in a sweat then getting cold. Bah! Maybe I was fighting off a bug. Who knows.

Where was I?

I have had a post, or a question brewing for a bit, that I haven't quite figured out how to post - so here goes nothin'. It's in relation to social etiquette - to be more exact, when you are invited to someones home for a meal or when you invite someone to your home for a meal, what is the/your expectation?

I grew up in the country & spose we were middle(?) class. It seems there are different rules for country folk & classes, although they don't seem to be consistent either. This thought process came about on listening to a friend talk about her plans for Christmas - she'd invited her brother & his family to her home & stated quite bluntly to me " I hope they don't expect me to pay for everything".

I found this quite odd.

The way I've been bought up I suppose is that you always bring something. In the country it's a bit of an unwritten rule. If you are invited for a meal you usually ask if your host would like you to bring a salad or a desert. In the city I find people often say nothing, just yourselves. I would then always bring something to drink & a bottle of wine or flowers for the host.

I've been to a dinner party where the host supplied the venue & packet sausage rolls & everyone else bought the food - I'd be lying if I wasn't a little peeved at the request to supply roast meat for a group of 12. Imagine how our other friends felt when they were asked to bring the roast veg. Considering we all lived 45 minutes apart, it was bordering on the ridiculous!

I've been to BBQ's where you bring everything; & others where you bring your own meat & grog & the host provides salads &/or deserts, also cool in my book.

What I want to know, is how were you brought up?

What do you consider good/bad etiquette?

Speak to me!!!

PS I hope I haven't upset anyone, certainly not my intention!


Cinders said...

Hey gorgeous, Happy New Year :)

I had 35 for lunch on Christmas Day. I supplied the meat for the spit, all alcohol, a salad and a sweet. Everyone else that came bought at least 1 sweet and 1savoury per family. It was too much but pointless arguing with them all because I knew I couldn't win.

If I'm doing the inviting, on a smaller scale, I'm happy for people not to bring anything. I would never ask my guests to BYO meat, alcohol or a chair. In fact a couple of years back WW3 almost broke out when I wouldn't let a guy drink from his esky. I was horrified he had bought it but only let him open it when he bought to my attention that he only ever drank VB and knew I wouldn't have any.. (not even sure how I didn't know that). If I'm invited somewhere I never go empty handed and I will discuss it with the host so I bring something that wont go to waste.

On the other hand, a guy at work said his mother in law was charging $25 a head for Xmas Day. Mind you, they live up on the Murray and they had to hire a motel room to boot!

AlleyCat said...

Hey Cinders! Happy New Year to you too!!!!

I'm a bit like you - I love to be a hostess with the mostest so to speak - love chucking a dinner party or party on & am happy to supply all the food! I don't mind if peeps bring drinks though. That's bloody hillarious not letting that bloke drink from his eski!!! Love it!!!!

I guess each to their own & it's always dependant on the situation & the financial situation of the individual.

Thanks for responding though - I was wondering if I was a bit mad......guess not!!!!

I'm coming to yours next year for xmas lunch!!! LOL!

DOG3OY said...

i think we are coming from the same direction, if i invite you over and ask you to bring nothing and you turn up with a 6 pack and a salad then i'll start humping your leg, if you didnt i'd probably hump your leg anyway. If invited and asked to bring something (salad, BYO, meat) no problem but dont ask for everything i may as well stay home an cook my own stuff. if i'm invited and they tell me to bring nothing i'll turn up with a bottle or a desert or both if i like you.

but i cant guarantee i'll turn up sober, in a happy mood or with cloths on.

coffee no 5

AlleyCat said...

LOL you can only hump my leg if you wear pants!!!!

yes, ya got me. If I've gotta bring the entire meal to yours, I may as well have stayed home. In fact, you probably should have just asked if you could have your whole dinner party at mine so I could cater for it for you...........

I should mention the peeps I am talking about are not poor by any stretch of the imagination, just tight.

Although not as tight as the mob I know who when they order fish n chips, only order the chips, potato cakes & dimmies. Fish is too expensive ya know!!! Lordy.

kathrynoh said...

Normally if I'm going to someone else's place I'd take a bottle of wine. I figure you can't have too much wine.

I'd never expect guests to bring food to my place. Sometimes with close friends, they'll offer to make dessert or something and I'll gladly accept it in that case.

Family xmas is different though I guess. A few years back, I was really broke so my sister offered to pay for the food if I cooked it and hosted it. That worked out well.

Ute said...

I very rarely host anything, due to being so freakin' anxious. But when I do, I don't expect anyone to bring anything. If people ask what can they bring, I usually say just yourself, or a drink if you'd like.

But whenever I go to someones, I will always take something. ALWAYS!
I guess I feel like seeing as though I hardly ever host myself, the least I can do is help out.

You shoulda seen the shit left over from our Christmas mate! Both Mum and I went overboard, as is per usual.... every year we say the same thing, "Next year we wont do as much!" And every year, we fckn over do it!

Amanda said...

Hmmm, the only thing I'm thinking is that your friends siblings are freeloaders, and they are sick of paying for everything? Either that or they are stingy :)

I never expect people to bring something. when I was younger & had casual bbq's we had a bring your own meat rule, simply because none of us could afford meat for 10 people!

If I go to someone's house now, I take wine.

Slyde said...

i pretty much NEVER go to someone's house without bringing SOMETHING....

even if its just to run to the store and pick up a box of cookies or something.

AlleyCat said...

Hey Kathryn - yeah i figure when you are broke you can be creative!!! - people understand & are happy to help out.

I often cook at friends houses - they find it a chore & as I like to cook (& they like to eat it!) they are quite happy to give me free reign in their kitchens :0)

You can definately never have too much wine!!!!

AlleyCat said...

Ah Ute - Xmas is always the same isn't it! I guess that's part of the funm - left overs for at least a week. You will do it again next year ya know :0)

That's it isn't it - helping out &/or showing your appreciation :0)

AlleyCat said...

Hey Amanda - yes, I suspect the friend's family have freeloaded before & that was part of what prompted her statement.

They are certainly not broke & even when they have a casual dinner or BBQ, they always tell you exactly what they want you to bring - down to the type of salad & what to include or exclude from it & how much. You always have to bring your own meat & drinks on top of that. At least they haven't asked us to bring our own dunny paper!!!

AlleyCat said...

Hey Slyde - so long as you bring your pants its all good :0)