Friday, July 24, 2009

Not My Wedding

OK. Here's a bit of entertainment for you. Plumbing boy's brother(RIP)'s ex wife remarried a couple of years ago. We were invited. We went. This is not how my wedding is going to happen.

The Bush Wedding.

The wedding was in country Victoria. Plumbing Boy (PB) & I had volunteered to loan the couple our Spit & Eski as they were self catering. In lieu of presents, the guests were asked to bring a plate of food. As they didn’t have a lot of deserts coming, I volunteered to make a couple of Pav’s & Cheesecakes. The Bride is the mother of PB's brother’s children. This paints a bit of a picture of our weekend away……………..

Got there around 8pm Friday night as the couple were planning on cooking the meat the night before & then reheating it the next day. They had arranged one other spit besides ours. The meat was supposed to arrive at 4pm Friday afternoon: hadn't yet arrived so we had dinner at the pub. PB then went & unloaded our spit & the man with the meat showed up. 1 whole sheep & 1 whole pig. Neither fitted into either spit.

They had to behead the pig & then chop the whole thing in ½ (using a small hand saw); only minor surgery on the lamb to make it fit. It took them till midnight to get both spits going. The entire pig head is now looking out at you when you open the fridge door. (hope no-one gets to sloshed & does anything untoward with it……………….me, I am having images of someone arriving at the wedding with the pig head on a stake as their date. Hmmm)

In the meantime.......................I was at the hall with the bride & her bridesmaids & we set up the whole reception. Yup. Got the trestle tables out of the shed (my new weight lifting came in handy!) & carted them into the hall, set them up on their legs (they were very ancient wobbly wooden ones). Then we had to put the "vinyl" white table cloths on. No scissors. Had to hack at the vinyl roll with a bread knife. Then we had to pin the hacked bits under with drawing pins. Finished setting up around 1am. The bride & girls had to be up at 5.30am to go into a larger town to have their hair & makeup done.

Went & picked PB up & finally got to bed around 2am. Couldn't sleep now. Too wired. Too many jobs to do in the morning! Up at 7.30, showered, back to the hall to do 100 helium balloons. No ribbon. Off to the only shop in town, a small IGA. No ribbon. Brown string will have to do. 3 balls of string later, had all the balloons blown up & tied into position. The boy's still have not put up the streamers (job delgated to them by the bride), but it looked OK. Streamers never happened. Sent the boys to get ice & put some drinks on same in eskies. Otherwise warm beer. Mmmmmmm!

Back to the Motel, dressed, helped bridal party (girls) with jewellery, perfume, ribbon on cars. Oh, Bride forgot to arrange for someone to drive the bridesmaids, so PB got the job. I had to drive the truck (the type you need a special license to drive. I do not have one of those)! Yes the truck! In my finery, to where the groomsmen were, to tie all their ties & pin all their flowers. None of the jackets had lapels with button holes ARRRRG! Had to pin the flowers inside the breast pockets!

Then I had to drive the truck to the church! Run back to the supermarket for 2 candles, the bride had forgotten to get them, let all the people into the church as they were all standing out the front when I made my grand arrival in the truck! Then the pig guy & I had to wrap 4 x bricks in white paper on the footpath & cart them into the church to hold up the archway they were getting married under as it was a little wobbly & they were worried it might fall down. & they had forgotten to do it! The bridal party was pulling up as we were wrapping the bricks!

I'm guessing you are getting the general idea about the organisational skills of said bridal party! It would seem they hadn't decided who was doing any of the jobs!! Let alone delegating them!

The ceremony & reception were held at the local hall, the front section is separate to the hall, & the bridal party had set up 50 or so chairs on Friday afternoon including the arch & had attached a few plastic flowers around the archway & banisters. The ceremony went off without any hitches, then the guests were ‘sent over the road” to the pub for an hour until they were ready for the reception to begin. Ceremony started at 10am, finished by 11am.

Nobody was organised to heat up the meat. PB & pig guy volunteered. Mind you, pig guy had been up til 4.30am supervising the spits, making sure the meat didn’t burn! Off they toddled, back to the home of the bride & groom to supervise the spits. Meanwhile……………….

Back at the hall, the bridesmaids & I packed up all the chairs & dragged out the big tables that were to hold the food. PB’s Mum (stand in mother of the bride) also was assisting here. We put out the table cloths, found the cutlery & crockery & laid it out. Moved the bain-marie out of the kitchen & into the serving area, boiled the urn & filled it up. Next we microwaved KG bags of Peas, corn & carrots & tipped them into the bain-marie. Made gravy & heated jars of apple sauce & tipped them into the bain-marie. Put out butter & various other condiments, located serving utensils etc. Phew. Time for a drink! Lucky I arranged ice for the beer!

The groom at this stage was sent to IGA to get some soft drinks as nobody had remembered to get something for the kids & non drinkers. Next we put out the nibbles. Uh Oh. Only 2 plates had arrived & there were 8 tables besides the bridal table. Off I trot to IGA for dip & biccies! The only dip they had was French onion & sweet chilli philly! 4 of each (cleaned them out) & 8 packs of biscuits were raced back to the hall (I was on a 1st name basis with the IGA ladies by then as I think that was my 5th or 6th trip!). Put out the nibbles & the guests started to filter back in from the pub.

The bride & groom had decided they didn’t want to eat until around 2.30pm. By 2pm, the ravenous guests had polished off all the nibbles & were getting restless. Hmmm. I wonder how they will transport the meat to the hall. Hmmm neither had anybody else pondered this!. This time PB went off to IGA & bought them out of tin foil. He & pig guy wrapped the beasts in foil, then in our old plumbing blankets we had used to transport the spit, then carried the beastages slung between them into the hall. The bride had remembered to arrange for someone to carve the meat who arrived at the right time & started to carve 1 beast. A few others pitched in & helped carve the rest!

Called the guests to eat at 3pm, like seagulls they pounced.

Got the guests fed, then PB & I decided it was time we actually behaved like guests & sat down & ate. Hmmm wonder who is doing the dishes. Found PB's Mum (80 year old) with her fur coat cuffs sopping wet from washing up dishes, with 1 of the bridesmaids & her husband helping! Good one! Did a few myself, tried to bully a few others into helping & eventually managed to kick PB's Mum out of the kitchen. What was to become of all the left over food I wonder? The groom popped his head in & asked if there was anything he could do. Of course the others said no, but I sent him to IGA for gladwrap, then, supervised him wrapping the food & filing it all into the fridge!!!!!! Afterall, the only job he had to do (the streamers) he didn't!

Once that was done, I put out my deserts & called it a day. They could do the rest of the clean up tomorrow. Went & had a few more drinks, a bit of a dance, listened to the speeches & socialised with a few of the more interesting characters present.

"Smokey Dawson" (not the real one) was present & pissed when he arrived at the actual ceremony, was dribbling by this stage & trying to set up any girl with his disabled son (who had really bad garlic breath!). The mother of the groom was also partial to the odd G&T, missed how many she said she’d had before the ceremony! Some old friends of the bride & PB's brother were invited, She had PB bailed up trying to talk him into having at least 10 kids (I ran away & hid outside!), He just kept telling us the same things over & over (as did She). Their kids were a little more sober & easier to converse with! We called it a day at 10pm & walked home.

At this stage I must apologies to “pig guy” whose name I have forgotten, but was really lovely & probably the most helpful, useful person we encountered that weekend.

PB had got chatting to a guy Matt at the reception who invited us over on Sunday to collect some fire wood. We rocked up to Matts around 10.30am although he had forgotten he had invited us over & why, we spent a lovely 4 hours wandering about his bush block in the sunshine (21 degree day) before heading back to the big smoke. Thanks Matt!

Yes, this actually happened. I put pen to paper the week I got back so as to not forget any of the finer details. Hope you got a giggle out of it!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

It's only an Apprenticeship

Him: "hello, I was wondering if I can organise an apprenticeship for my son"

Me: "we don't have any apprenticeship positions available at the moment"

Him: "but what about later in the year?"

Me: "yes, we will advertise probably early next year, requesting written resume's. We will then interview probably the best 10 applicants, short list them to 3 or 4 & conduct a 2nd interview. We would then offer the position to the best applicant".

Him: "Oh. But it's only an Apprenticeship, why cant you just give it to him?"

I just finished this telephone conversation. What is it with people? Rule number one. If Mum or Dad ring up or come in to ask on your behalf, you don't get a look in. If you bother to call yourself, or come in yourself, we ask you to send in your resume for us to hold on file until we are ready or have a position, at which time we will contact you for an interview, because YOU have made an effort.

I introduced my cuz to Edward Cullen on the weekend. We watched the DVD Saturday night & again Sunday morning. She's since obtained it from a friend & was watching it yesterday. After which she & her friend went out & bought the book & have been reading out loud to each other! Love it!

I'm off to see the new Harry Potter flick Friday night with the same cousin. I'm about half way through the book - I reckon I'll finish it before Friday (although there may be some late night reading to be done!).

My office assistant is off work starting today for 3 - 4 weeks, she's had to have surgery, so I will be on my lonesome. Blog updates may be a bit slow while I battle the mounds of paperwork. Wish me luck & sanity :0)

Friday, July 10, 2009

Self Control

I'm having a Laura Branigan flash back Friday! (If I was cleverer I would have inserted a utube here!)

I've been to Body Step twice this week! Yes, Twice! Our instructor Rocks. She really mixes up the music & routines, we rarely do the same routine or have the same music 2 classes running. This week she played "Self Control" Tuesday & Thursday nights as well as "Don't Leave Me This Way" last night. I can home singing it; I woke up singing it.

My lips were blue after the last Cardio track (Don't Leave me this Way). I just couldn't get enough oxygen. I was giving 150% as well as trying to sing along :0) You should have heard me puffing! As you can probably tell, I am really into Body Step at the moment. It is my favouritist class!

Why is it though, that I can do really high impact step without problems, but a Body Attack Class or a 15 minute tready run wreaks havoc my right knee??? If I do a run in the morning, I am unable to bend my right knee or navigate stairs by the end of the day, yet the following day all pain is gone. Strange.

I did notice on Tuesday night that I favour my left leg - we were jumping up onto the step with both feet & I needed to step down with my right leg or I'd stuff up the choreography (when we were doing the left side I was fine). I really had to concentrate hard. My left is the ankle I rolled a couple of months ago & it was sore again Tuesday night (I don't remember rolling it again) & I had my step on low for the whole class.

Last night I wore my ankle brace & put my step up to the higher level as Tuesday night felt a bit easy & my ankle was fine! Lots of happy endorphins ensued. Mostly the music was good. I find it really affects my mood - if I like the music & love the class; if I don't know or like the music, I'm not so into the class.

These are my (current) favourite Body Step Tunes:

1. When will I be Famous Or Funky Town
2. Cant fight the Moonlight
3. Life is a Highway Or Walk this Way Or Born to Be Alive
4. Funky Cole Medina Or It's Raining Men
5. Are You Gonna Go My Way
6. Self Control Or Born to be Wild
7. We Will Rock You Or American Woman
8. 9 to 5
9 Walking on Sunshine
10 Don't Leave me this Way
11 Jenny from the Block
12 Your Body is a Wonderland.

Am I showing my age??

Monday, July 6, 2009

pale blue sky

Is what I can see out my window this morning! Better than the grey I could see last week. The sun is shining & the parrots are tweeting away in the gum tree out the front. We've had a tribe of 50 or so hanging about for the past few weeks. I think they'll be gone soon, as the flowers (& nectar) are almost gone, but they've made me smile while they were here.

On the weekend I finally made
Skinny Latte's breaky bars. They are really really good! I had one for afternoon tea/lunch yesterday arvo with a cuppa, just to sample them of course. I'd forgotten that I actually like Tahini; & combined with honey & muesli...mmmmmmmmmmm. I had one for breakfast this morning as I couldn't be bothered making proper breakfast. My plan was to eat them instead of packaged muesli bars for morning tea. Let's see how that goes.

I'm back up to 60kgs today. I think I'd better start counting points again for a bit. I'm not overly concerned, I just don't want all my hard work since Christmas to come unravelled. Being a chick I know my weight will go up & down a bit each month; but I'd decided that 60 will be my magic number. When I hit 60, I count points till I am back under. Then I can relax a little. So on & so forth. I've kinda slackened off on the whole challenge front & haven't updated the WAS challenge for weeks. I know, slack. But I'd been on a challenge of some sort since the beginning of January & was kind of over it you know???

I finished the last book in the Twilight series on Friday night. Boo Hoo. I want more!!!! I have a new Jodie Picoult to read & 3 more John Marsden books, one of which I started last night, before changing my mind & starting Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince. I've already read it a couple of times, but with the movie being released in 2 weeks I thought I'd refresh my memory.

There has been "hens night" talk already - we were out for dinner on Saturday night with Jax (bridesmaid) & one of my unofficial BM's who wanted to know what I wanted to do!!! At one point we were going to Hong Kong for a week, but I think that had a bit to do with the G&T's.

My other unofficial BM lives in Honkers & is having a big birthday bash this year (40th) & is hoping to get us all over for it. However it is the week before Christmas & the worse possible time for us business wise. While it would be awesome to surprise her & come over for a long weekend/week as she won't make it back for the hens night as well as the wedding................. Plumbing Boy said I could go if I want, but he did remind me that there are other things that we are saving for that are probably of higher priority. Don't you just love those double edged swords!!!!

I've only been to two Hens nights. The first one I was asked to organise by the bride as her BM's were a bit useless: she wanted to go on a pub crawl, her BM's weren't really the pubbing type. All I really remember was a bunch of annoying drunken chicks who I had to get from one venue to the next & I didn't really know any of them & it all ended up being a bit too hard!

The second one I met up with a bus load of girls who came from the opposite side of town at a Ladies venue in the city, where they had 2 hens parties & half a dozen strippers. The first one was funny, but the rest just became tedious - same routine, different costume. Maybe I just wasn't drunk enough? Male strippers I must admit don't really do much for me. Seen one, seen em all. When the bus left (they had a few girls driving the porcelain bus), I went to the pub across the road & watched a band for an hour or so before going home!

Actually, I've been to three. The third was my sisters! I'd forgotten out about it. It was just me, her & her best friend & we went out dancing in Warrnambool & got smashed. Can't really remember much more that that!

So. As you can see, I've not really had a lot of experience at such gatherings. I am thinking a weekend away to maybe Daylesford, or somewhere along the great ocean road might be in order. Tell me about the Hen's nights you've been to & what you liked & didn't like PLEASE! Any clues on etiquette? There's bucket loads of conflicting info - only invite those who are invited to the wedding as it's rude to do otherwise V inviting people who you wont invite to the wedding due to numbers & cost. And do you have to invite all the "eligible" chicks you are inviting to the wedding? And cousin's you only see once a year??? Bah. It all gets so complicated!

Thursday, July 2, 2009


Well, Almost.

Simon, the new proprietor of our wedding venue called me Tuesday night. He said that I can hire the room, no problem. He will get back to me with a price in due course. I am hoping it won't be too much more than what I was quoted by the previous proprietor.

I don't know what the new name of the venue will be, but they are planning on opening a wine bar/cafe & are completely refurbishing it!!!!! The first thing they will do is rip up the carpet :0) They anticipate opening around the 1st week in October. Our date is November 14 so that only gives them 5 - 6 weeks leeway. Whatdayareckon?

I'm thinking it will be fine. Although I may make enquiries about marquee, table & chair hire anyway, just in case we need to have it in my sisters front paddock. Speaking of my sisters front paddock, her partner trains racehorses - here is a little story she emailed me last week....

Saturday morning – Trainer Boy said I didn’t have to come to the track & could have a sleep in, but I probably should’ve! On the way home Racehorse snapped his lead turned around in the float & was trying to jump out the back! Trainer Boy stopped cos he could feel the float thrashing around & got out in time to see Racehorse scramble out the back, commando role onto the road & go galloping off down the highway. Trainer Boy was in front of "well known" garden – he flagged down a car & they caught up with him in front of the old (insert fast food chain)! Some other blokes helped & went back & drove the float up & they loaded him on the highway. (It makes a funny story but Trainer Boy's still not seeing the humour!) He might feel better if Racehorse wasn’t injured. He’s got scrapes all over his legs & his knee is the size of a football. (names & locations have been changed to protect the identity of the involved parties yada yada yada)

Anyhoo. Back to the wedding. Simon will be using local caterers (whom I believe are quite good) & will put them in touch with me in the next week or so; but if they are already booked for that date or I prefer to use someone else, he doesn't mind. We will be the first wedding they will host at the venue. This could work to our advantage, RE pricing etc, although could be a bit of a disaster. I'm going to take the optimistic view. It will all be good!!!!! Plus he will want purty pictures to show potential clients so it will all have to be smick!

I did ask if the refurb will limit the number of covers they can do, as it previously did 100 + band but will be about the same when they have finished. Excellent. The band will fit. So will our guests.

I guess I can think about invitations now. I am tossing up with the idea of an "e"invite for the young uns, & paper invites for ye oldes. What do reckon? I'm not really a computer whizz, but I reckon I could manage a bit of a PowerPoint presentation. It's not really the cost I am thinking about so much as the amount of paper etc involve. IF i do them on paper, I'll want to go the whole hog & post people shoe boxes full of things to do around Warrnambool, the great ocean road etc. I'll probably want to include some sand a few shells to Bahahaha. Kidding. Or. Maybe. Not.